Guide 3

Step 1 List what you would change

Find a quiet space where you can have a few minutes to yourself.  Are you ready to go?  Take your post-its.  Give yourself five minutes to list everything you would change in an ideal world.  You can put anything down; there may be five things, or there may be 50.  There are no right or wrong answers.  

Just get it all out of your head and down onto those little squares.

Step 2 Draw two circles

How did that feel?  Maybe you’ve just got a few things, and you feel clear where you need to focus.  Or perhaps you’ve got post-its everywhere – and maybe that’s why it’s feeling so hard. Either way, you’ve done it.  You’ve named them and brought light to them, which is the first step in moving forward.

Now take your notebook and your coloured pencils.  Take one colour and draw a circle in the middle of the page.  The circle needs to be big enough so you can put post-its inside.  Write ‘CONTROL’ in the middle of this circle.

Take your second coloured pencil and draw a bigger circle around the first.  Again, you’ll put post-its inside this, so use as much paper as possible.  In this second, larger circle, write ‘INFLUENCE’

Step 3 What do you control, what can you influence?

Now go back to your post-its.  For each post-it, decide whether it’s something you could control or influence.  So, if the problem is always being in a rush in the morning, you could set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier.  This would go in the CONTROL circle.  

If the problem is you’ve still got six objectives at work even though you’re now working part-time, you could sit down with your manager to talk about reducing them or at least prioritising them – so this would go in the INFLUENCE circle.

You don’t need to spend ages on this.  If it feels like something you could change or solve quite quickly, put it in CONTROL.  If it feels a bit more complicated, put it in INFLUENCE.  If it’s something that, quite frankly, you will not be able to change, then leave that post-it off the paper.

Making peace with the things you cannot change is just as crucial as focusing on the changes you can make.

Step 4 Take a pause

Ok, take a step back and pause; give your brain a rest from the process.  You’ve got everything out of your head and onto post-its in just a few minutes.  You’ve worked through what feels in your control and what you can influence.  

This is a great start, and you’ve already moved towards pinpointing the areas where your energy and effort are best focused.

Step 5 Getting a clear focus

OK, let’s get back to it.  You’ve now got your page with some post-its in the middle circle and some in the outer circle.  You might have some post-its that didn’t make it onto the paper. Move these away from your eyeline; you want to be entirely focused on the things you CAN do something about.

For this next step, there are no right or wrong answers.  It’s time to tune into yourself.  Take another look at the post-its on the page and notice which ones you’re drawn to.  Which keeps catching your eye?  Which are making you feel excited or energised?  Are there any that feel heavy or draining?

Just tune in to yourself and be guided by where your focus goes.

Take your third and final coloured pencil and circle those you are most drawn to.  Ideally, you’re looking for 3-5 post-its that catch your attention.  If you’ve got more than that, take another pause, another deep breath and return to them again.  And if there’s more than 5 and you can’t get it lower than that, that’s fine.  You’ve done the work; move on to the next step.

Step 6 Choose one thing

You’re making tremendous progress. Well done.  You now have a small number of things you’d like to change.  You’ve thought to what extent they are within your control or influence.  So this is the final task.  Out of those you’ve circled, which is number 1?

You might choose something entirely in your control - you can do it tomorrow -  set that alarm earlier and do the mornings differently.  Or you might choose a bigger one; maybe getting your objectives sorted out is the most important thing to get sorted.

Again, there are no right or wrong answers.  Allow yourself to trust your instincts.  But choose one.

Step 7 What actions can you take?

OK, you’re nearly done.  You’ve chosen where to start.  The final task is to write out the steps you think it will take to solve this problem or challenge.  Again, you don’t need to overthink this.  Your brain has most likely been mulling it over since you first got the post-its out.  Capture a short list of your actions, ideally around 3-5 steps.

And that’s it; you’re done.  You’ve focused on what’s within your control or influence.  You’ve focused on what you’re most drawn to.  And you’ve come up with a plan.

All that’s left to do is start ticking off the actions.  Schedule regular check-ins on your progress.  And come back to this process any time you want to check in on what’s in your control and where to focus your energy.