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Guide 8

How to Challenge Your Inner Critic

On any day, as a parent juggling work and life at home, there can be many, many things that don’t go to plan. From the child who won’t put their shoes on, to the delayed train that makes you late to work, to the client who calls you at tea-time.

And when this happens, our inner critic leaps into action. Telling us it’s our fault, pointing out where we’ve failed, and blaming us for things that might be entirely outside our control. Follow these four steps to change the conversation with your inner critic today.

4 steps I Recommended time: 15 minutes I You will need: A notebook and pen

Step 1 Listen to your inner critic

Take a moment to reflect on your inner critic's typical statements. These are the negative thoughts or self-doubts that may haunt you from time to time.

Write down three such statements that your inner critic often uses. These might sound like harsh judgments or critical assessments of yourself.

For example:

•"I'm not doing enough for my children."

•"I'm always falling short at work."

•"I can't handle this stress; I'm a failure as a parent."

Step 2 Opposing facts

Let's challenge these critical thoughts with opposing facts — positive and realistic statements contradicting your inner critic's negativity.

For each of the three statements you wrote in Step 1, create three opposing facts highlighting your strengths, achievements, and the positive aspects of your life.

For example:

Inner Critic: "I'm not doing enough for my children."

•Opposing Fact 1: "I spent quality time with my children today and made them feel loved."

•Opposing Fact 2: "I've successfully balanced my work and family responsibilities."

•Opposing Fact 3: "My children are happy and healthy, which is a testament to my parenting."

Step 3 Reflect

After countering your inner critic's statements with opposing facts, take a moment to reflect on this exercise.

Acknowledge that everyone faces challenges and moments of self-doubt. Understand that nurturing self-compassion is a process, and having an inner critic is okay.

Step 4 Revisit

Regularly revisit this exercise to identify and challenge your inner critic's statements. Over time, aim to replace these negative thoughts with kinder, more compassionate self-talk.

Cultivate an inner guide or parent that offers encouragement, understanding, and support.

Remember, the goal is not to silence your inner critic completely but to lessen its impact and create space for self-compassion and self-empowerment.

Recognising your strengths and achievements can boost your confidence as a working parent and help you navigate the challenges with greater resilience and kindness towards yourself.