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Guide 1

How to Work Out What Matters Most

So much can change when you become a parent. As your values and priorities shift, as the sleep deprivation sets in and the juggle takes hold, it’s too easy to lose sight of what matters most.

This 6-step guide takes you through a simple process you can use any time you need to reflect on what matters most. You might have a decision to make or be working through changes you want to make. Knowing what matters most gives you a stable compass to guide your decision-making through the ever-changing world of life as a working parent.

6 steps I Recommended time: 20 minutes I You will need a notebook and a pen

Step 1 Find a quiet moment

You don’t need a tremendous amount of time for this exercise; you can do it in as little as 15 minutes, and often, the answers that come to you first are the most useful. But you will get more from the process if you can focus on it. So whether you’re on the train to work, the kids are watching Bluey, or you’ve slipped out to the park – all you need is some uninterrupted space, your notebook, and a pen.

Now you’re ready to go.

Step 2 Reflect on your typical day

What’s your typical day like? Jot down your routine – getting the kids ready, commuting to work, meetings at the office, picking up groceries, playing in the garden when you get home. Whatever it is, quickly map the usual tasks and activities that make up your day.

Step 3 Recall meaningful moments

You’ve set down your typical day. Now it’s time to sit back and think of those times when you’ve felt truly fulfilled and energised – maybe your child’s first steps, having a heart-to-heart with your teen, or landing a big promotion that secures your family’s future. Just take 5 minutes and write them down.

Step 4 List what matters most

So now you’ve got a picture of a typical day, and you’ve thought back to some meaningful moments. Now, it’s time to think about what feels important to you. There are no right or wrong answers.

There may be two things; there may be 20 things. If it matters to you, write it down. Family, faith, learning, growth, or financial security. List out those things that matter to you, however simple they may be.

Step 5 I Look for connections

Next, put your list of what matters next to your list of meaningful moments. Are there any connections? Maybe family and growth pop up. What are the links that you can see? Now it’s time to make your last list. Write down the connections you see between what matters and your meaningful moments.

Again, you may see two connections; you may see 20. Just listen to yourself and capture any that come to you.

Step 6 I Rank the connections

You’re doing well. Pause for a moment. In just a few minutes, you have worked through your typical day, reflected on some meaningful moments, written down what matters most, AND looked for connections between them. If you’re finding this tough, that’s ok. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. This is just a conversation between you and yourself, and by starting this work, you’re already taking a step forward.

OK, let’s get back to your list of connections. The final step is to rank these connections in terms of importance. One is the most important thing that matters more than anything else.

Are you done?

Well, now you have it—your list of what matters most. Of course, things will change, and you can return to these six steps any time you need to reconnect with what matters most today and give yourself a compass to guide your decisions and choices, whatever comes next.